ON GRATITUDE

In the past six years or so, I came to meet a group of people, of White race, that demonstrate difficulties in saying "thank you". I have pondered about this topic since then and wondered if their inability? unwillingness? to say thank you to me when I extend myself to them in kindness, is because I am immigrant (micro-aggression perhaps...?) or because their monetary wealth makes them believe that they are above others, or just because they feel entitled to receive gratitude but not to give it, fostering the illusion of being some sort of king or queen of an unknown kingdom ...

Some of them seem to have a "chip upon their shoulders" or, like we say in Spanish "caminan como oliendo mierda" (walk like smelling shit). These people are the same that are quick to point out if you don't thank them... hmmm....

So I wonder... where and how do they get this kind of "ego disease"?...

Then, there are the others that on top of never expressing gratitude to me (micro-agrression perhaps...?), they never seem to be curious about the other/me, only if the other happens to be a man, a friend of long time, or be white... hmmm.... I am an immigrant from the South of the American continent.

So I also wonder... where their curiosity of the other is?... could it be that they do not know how to inquiry on the life of an immigrant? or simply is related to be so self-absorbed that having to extend themselves to the other is too much trouble?...

I mostly feel pity for them. I wonder on what negative web of life they got caught?...
Contributing negativity to the world in this way... hmm....don't we have enough of it already?...

With the eye of a clinician, I am able to see beyond the appearance of "ego strength", and I read the behavior as a sign of emotional immaturity, insecurity, low self esteem, low self confidence; and with that, entitlement and narcissism unfold too.

But what is gratitude after all?... I read in the online dictionary that gratitude is "the quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness"

The Positive Psychology Program website opens its article on gratitude with words from USA essayist, lecturer, poet, and leader of the transcendentalist movement of the 19th century Ralph Waldo Emerson:

"Cultivate the habit of being grateful for every good think that comes to you, and to give thanks continuously. And because all things have contributed to your advancement, you should include all things in your gratitude"

The Harvard Medical School defines gratitude this way:

"a thankful appreciation for what an individual receives, whether tangible or intangible. With gratitude, people acknowledge the goodness in their lives... As a result, gratitude also helps people connect to something larger than themselves as individuals -whether to other people, nature, or a higher power"
https://positivepsychologyprogram.com/gratitude-appreciation/

And this topic of gratitude also is bubbling in the veins of USA lately, specially since the 45th took the Oval Office... The USA negative, ungrateful stand against immigrants does not contribute to make this country "great" or even "America first" but discloses a layer of spiritual ugliness that, in my opinion, does not allow a person or a country to be "first or great". USA, a country built upon the labor of immigrants! must being grateful to immigrants indeed!

Expressing gratitude is not only for the other but for oneself. It comes from the recognition of the goodness in our lives and the impact that others have had upon our lives. "...By this process, we recognize everything and everyone that makes us who we are..."

So... NorthAmerica first?.... Of course! Let's begin by expressing gratitude, daily, to the immigrant for what we contribute to this society, and to express gratitude to those around us daily for their kindness, even when that is only a smile or a Hello!

Your contribution in the way of comment/feedback on this topic will be much appreciated. 

Thank you for reading.